Self Esteem means different things to different people...
We know what it means when our self esteem is under attack. It’s a phrase that rolls off the tongue. But what does it really mean?
It is described as the foundation to coping with life’s challenges; believing in your self; believing that you have value and what you do is valued. That’s what it’s about.
To make it easier&. Imagine someone you know and admire as having loads of self esteem. Think about what personal qualities and skills they have.
When you look at it carefully, you will see that self esteem is made up of a collection of smaller skills. These skills are easier to develop one by one than just trying to work on all your self esteem:
| " | Making and reflecting on small achievements; not setting yourself up to constantly fail. |
| " | Knowing what you want, having realistic goals for the next day, next week, next month, next year. |
| " | Listening to others |
| " | Being relaxed in mind and body |
| " | Take pleasure |
| " | Communicating clearly |
| " | Good eye-contact |
| " | An upright and open posture |
| " | Feeling able to take turns in conversation |
| " | Overcoming setbacks and disappointments, without dwelling on the negative |
| " | Patting yourself on the back |
| " | Express dissatisfaction quickly and move on to the positive |
| " | Think optimistically, not always negatively |
| " | Not taking criticism personally |
| " | Being comfortable in giving and receiving compliments |
| " | Seeking help when difficulties are too big for one. |
| " | Working on problem solving |
| " | Time organisation and action planning |
Maybe rate yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 for each of those skills. 10 means you can do it no problem; 0 means you rarely are able to do it. Ask your trusted friends what they think too.
Next choose an area to work on, just to increase what you do a little more. Remember make it achievable. Don’t expect to change over night; build on it gradually.
Make sure you pat yourself on the back for trying. Afterall, people with good self esteem can see how important it is to reward all their efforts!!!
Email your thoughts about self esteem to info@eefo.net Maybe there are some more skills that make up self esteem you would like to see on the list.
If you feel that your self esteem has taken a bit of a battering recently, talk to someone you trust who you think could help you. They may be able to help you build on some of the skills in this article. Talk to a youth worker, a counsellor, your doctor or a Connexions adviser.
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