Ending a relationship is never a nice experience, but it has to be done.
Here is some advice on how to do it, and how to be prepared for it:
Do’s
| " | DO be aware that breaking up with someone is often an inevitable and natural part of relationships, particularly amongst young people. Always be prepared for this. It is highly improbable that someone you get together with in your teens will be your partner throughout life, no matter what you might think at the time. People change rapidly and constantly. Think to yourself, ’how many relationships have I been in that haven’t broken up?’ |
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DO it sooner rather than later. The longer you put off breaking up with someone, the harder it will become. |
| " | DO try to maintain your composure and dignity if you are being broken up with. At the time it may seem hard not to make a scene, but in hindsight you’ll be very glad that you didn’t. If you are genuinely upset, confide in a close friend somewhere private. |
| " | DO be absolutely honest. The truth may hurt, but it’ll hurt a lot more when your ex finds out about it a couple of months later through a friend of a friend of a friend. |
| " | DO be direct and to the point when breaking up with someone. Breaking up is like taking off a plaster, it’ll hurt more the slower you do it. |
| " | DO break up face to face. This is hard, but is always better in the long run, and at least shows the person you care enough to do it this way. If you absolutely cannot face doing it person to person, then a hand written letter is the next best thing, as long as you assure them that you are willing to meet and talk about it soon. People always need closure. |
| " | DO remember that if someone breaks up with you, although you may be very upset and it might seem like the end of the world, rest assured that time will heal this, particularly if you are a teenager. In a few months you probably won’t care. |
| " | DO get out and enjoy yourself with friends if you have been dumped. Being out and about is much better than languishing alone. |
Don’ts
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DON’T feel guilty about doing it. Removing any associated guilt will make it easier for you. |
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DON’T try and make someone feel guilty about breaking up with you. This is unfair and very selfish. |
| " | DON’T just ignore someone until they get the message. This may seem like the easy option, but in the long run it is much simpler to be up front and honest. If people don’t get closure, it’ll drag out for a very long time and get very messy. |
| " | DON’T break up with someone by text or email. This is impersonal and cowardly, and devalues their feelings. |
| " | DON’T get heavily involved with someone if you know that as a relationship it is going nowhere. This protects everyone’s feelings. |
| " | DON’T just rush straight into another relationship. The ’rebound’ relationship can get very messy. But remember, sometimes the best thing to get you over the last one is the next one, which is another reason why it’s good to be out and socialising. Keep on living your life as you normally would. |
| " | DON’T just live in false hope that you might get back together with your ex. Although this isn’t out of the question, if it is going to happen then it will of its own accord. Don’t waste your time waiting for it to happen, as the chances are it won’t. Again, keep on living your own life. |
Written by a www.eefo.net user
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